STOP Attracting Undesirable Partners Once and For All

tanahoy.com thoughts are energy

Each one of your thoughts is a powerful form of energy. What you think of, you can manifest.

Are you aware of how manifestation can be a double-edged sword, so to speak?

Many people equate manifestation with only positive things.

However, the fact is, you can be manifesting negativity and misery in your life, which could be why you haven’t succeeded in knowing how to find true love.

 

 

Are You Putting Yourself in a Trap?

 

What kind of self-talk do you experience everyday? Negative self-talk can build up into self-hate.

What kind of self-talk do you experience everyday? Negative self-talk can build up into self-hate.

I recall a psychic reading I gave a few months back. My client was frantic and nearly at the point of self-hate, because no matter what she did, it had been one relationship failure after the other.

She had been at the receiving end of nasty comments from so-called friends. These “friends” had said something along the lines of “You have been in several relationships already. Yet, all of them were failures. It must be you at fault, because it’s impossible for all your ex-partners to be the one at fault, right?”

She took such comments to heart, which is why self-hate was on its way to taking root.

Fortunately, such a thing never pushed through, because she finally understood why several bad relationships kept on happening.

Those relationships didn’t happen by chance. She had manifested failed relationships, instead of a happy and successful lovelife.

She had been in a self-created trap of failure, which is why the most undesirable partners were the ones who kept coming into her life, and bringing pain along with them.

 

What Do You Usually Think of?

 

As you live your life from day to day, have you ever stopped to think about the thoughts passing through your mind?

I’ve talked to many people over the years, and it is still a source of puzzlement to me how majority have said they do not reflect on their thoughts.

In other words, the hundreds, or even thousands of thoughts going through their minds are not analyzed. Very few people wonder what kind of energy they’re radiating out to the Universe!

Your thoughts are energy. Your thoughts can become your reality.

I gave further details about this in my article titled Using Positive Affirmations to Create Your Reality. Here is an excerpt from that article:

Whatever your thoughts are, that is where your eventual quality of life will exist because thoughts are energy. Powerful energy.

So powerful in fact, that if you keep on thinking about something happening, that something will materialize in your life, in one form or the other.

For example, if you keep on thinking you are a loser in love, then your relationships will be bound to fail.

Conversely, if you uplift yourself with positivity, such as thinking that after a bad relationship, you will find a better match soon, then you will not be stuck in the rut of miserable relationships.

So, to recap: if you make it a point to focus on positive thoughts, negative events have a slim chance of materializing in your life.

And when you don’t think of how you can fail, or if you will fail again, you will not be attracting the kind of people who will be instrumental to making you fail.

You will not be attracting undesirable partners, ever again! Instead, your positive energy will be blocking the way of undesirable partners to you.

 

Is Blocking Negativity Really Easier Said Than Done?

 

tanahoy.com negative thoughts are hard to control

Rather than fight to prevent negative thoughts or energy from enveloping you, what you need to do is to unseat such negativity and replace it with positivity.

You may be wondering if you can really stop yourself from thinking negative thoughts, specifically thoughts that lead to attracting undesirable partners. Are you wondering if it’s easier said than done?

If I asked you now to stop thinking about a charging elephant, wouldn’t your mind tend to keep on thinking about that very same charging elephant, instead of calm and uplifting thoughts?

The answer is most likely “yes.”

It is not an easy task to control one’s mind. However, stopping yourself from thinking negative thoughts is not really about control.

It’s also not about fighting with yourself to make your mind conform, because 9 times out of 10, you will most likely fail if you try to do so.

So, rather than fight to prevent negative thoughts or energy from enveloping you, what you need to do is to unseat such negativity and replace it with positivity.

 

When Your Mind Starts to Come Up with Negativity

 

Negative thoughts are not really all that bad. In fact, there are numerous times when your mind comes up with the most negative of thoughts simply as an act of self-preservation.

For example, if you hear over the news that violent robbers have attacked your favorite convenience store that’s nearest your home, your mind would go into protective mode.

It would “tell” you to stay away from that store, no matter what, because you could get hurt too.

It would tell you to forego your planned purchase until you can buy them from a different store.

It would insist you stay at home, or at the office, or wherever, just as long as it isn’t in that store.

In itself, such a thing isn’t really bad, because your mind is simply trying to keep you alive and free from harm. Never mind if no clearly present threat exists.

However, your mind doesn’t function in such a manner all the time. Your heart can overrule your mind. Or, they can work together, to your disadvantage.

Your heart may be trying to protect you, but it achieves the opposite, because as your mind (dictated upon by your heart) tells you something negative, the chances of you believing such a thought increase.

However, if you counter those negative thoughts with positive ones, and build up on the positivity, then there will be no room for negative ideas.

 

How to Love Yourself

 

To supplant or replace negative thoughts about yourself with positive ones, you need to know to love yourself, as a first step.

I have a short but meaningful video on my YouTube Channel, titled How To Love Yourself – Positive Steps You Can Take To Feel Happier

 I’ve embedded it here in my blog so you can watch it for a few minutes, before you continue reading this article.

 

Here are the main takeaways from the video:

You can condition your mind to focus on positive, self-affirming thoughts.

You don’t need to wallow or immerse yourself in self-defeating thoughts.

You cannot love others if you don’t love yourself.

 

If there is something in your life, which you dislike, you can set goals to work towards removing it from your life.

 

An Exercise To Try

 

So, if you have been through more than one relationship, which badly hurt you and damaged your self-esteem, review those relationships.

 

- Write down what went wrong and why.

- Write down what your partner did or did not do to keep the relationship afloat.

- Write down what you did or did not do to keep the relationship afloat.

 

Why is it important to write and understand both sides, yours and your partner’s? It’s because a relationship is not a one-way street.

Two of you formed the relationship. Therefore, its success or failure was dependent on you and your partner.

So, if your partner was a serial cheater, and you tolerated it for some time before ending the relationship, then you are also responsible for what happened, the same as your partner.

If you entered into another relationship, and your partner was also the unfaithful type, and you tolerated it again at the start, what does that tell you?

It tells you that you don’t love yourself enough to stop tolerating the pain. And from that, you arrive at a goal - to love yourself. That could be your first goal, if you want to know how to find true love, which is the kind of love that values you.

Work on recovering your self-esteem. You have beautiful qualities, which make you worthwhile to love.

When you do, you will no longer be sending out negative thoughts or energy to the Universe… and you will STOP attracting undesirable partners once and for all.

 

If you’d like to find out more about how to clean your thoughts or energy, to be able to focus on positivity, you can visit this page and schedule a psychic reading.

 

Did you like this article? I’d appreciate your letting me know in the comments below.

 

If You Enjoyed This Article, Here are Some Other Suggested Articles for You to Read:

 

How To Love Yourself – Psychic Insights From Tana Hoy

What Does Manifestation Mean?

Summoning The Power of Intention To Manifest Any Desire

Free Will – How To Use It To Manifest A Brighter Future

Using Positive Affirmations To Create Your Reality

4 Responses

  1. Sam B says:

    I had said before, like with the Jenny scenario, it may not always be your fault, especially in the initial stages. You may be the one continuing the cycle but more often than not is caused by an initial trigger which is exposed for a long period of time or repeated. Not an action but reaction, as stated in my previous comment about the Jenny scenario:

    “Those in these situations did not specifically put themselves there (aside from the soul script thing). Sometimes it might be, but often not so. Sometimes it’s down to how you react to situations. However more often than not, these situations will impose themselves onto you. It would not be your fault that the situation has caused you to have a negative attitude, especially for long periods of exposure to these events or repeating of them. With Jenny, it may be because she naturally feels little regard of herself, or a past experience has shattered her self confidence. I opt for the latter which is the cause.”

    Since I failed to coherently explain that, initial exposure is often the trigger, despite best efforts in some cases which then leads to a downhill negativity streak in form of how you react to them. You might be the one driving, but not the one who started the engine. Most of the more extreme cases happened this way.

    I’ll to use my own experience in order for it to be understood as I expect there’ll be a statement to argue “well it was probably because they initially had negative thought patterns that started it.” Possibly but unlikely.

    At school, I was one of the shy ones, very awkward, the typical nerd or geek. However lacked a lot of social skills due to my shyness. For a while I maintained a few close friends from reception (preschool year to the US) all the way up to year 3 (3rd grade). Everything was going well. That was until my so called “friends” effectively betrayed me for their own selfishness, to be cool and popular etc (although this happened much later) however nothing negative happened until they decided they didn’t want me around with them, but this was just the first wave. In year 8 (8th grade), my so called friends decided to abandon me altogether for their goals of popularity etc to the point of utilizing immature tactics such as manipulative bullying, walking away or ignoring me when I approached, even moving an entire lunch table away from mine. Their excuse was “you’re too quiet, you don’t do anything so there’s no point in you being here.”

    This went on for 3 more years, 8 in total. This was only prolonged because I attempted to stick with the group as there were a few who stuck beside me, however this was not often enough. However I was stuck with an ultimatum: stay with the few friends I had or leave and have no friends at all. (This kinda relates to Tana’s self love video on long term exposure creates stronger barriers to build self esteem).

    Now everything is much better, however I still only have few close friends and that is now behind me.

    However as you can see, you don’t have to be the instigator, but the one thing that did manage to effect me was the negative self talk, but not in the same way as most. Mine revolve more around regret more than self criticism, though this is still present.

    The same goes with the charging elephant. This points the same example, the thought was initially instigated from an outside source – if this exudes the rule of “my reality is my perception and outside events mean relatively nothing as its about how I comprehend it.” Our perception of duality and our actions being based from comprehension of reality, then initially its:

    Action > comprehension > reaction.

    Even though its the comprehension that causes us to react relative to the action in the duality spectrum.

    Also Tans, thank you for this:

    ” Negative thoughts are not really all that bad. In fact, there are numerous times when your mind comes up with the most negative of thoughts simply as an act of self-preservation.”

    This was going to be my next point. Negativity can actually help you develop as a person. For example regret can help you learn from your mistakes and manifest a more positive outcome from future actions.

    However, with examples such as the store robbers could create exaggerated or even obsessive paranoia. A blunt example being ever since the IS attacks, my mother is worried that anywhere you go, you could be potentially attacked. I won’t go too much into this but although they pose a serious threat, there are still limitations. Its just nearly impossible to not under or overestimate a cause or effect with this kind of mindset.

    As for self love in it’s entirety:

    1. Not loving yourself does not equal not having the capacity to know love or to love others properly. There are two types of love, romantic and universal/platonic etc. You could show universal love and respect for others despite not doing so to yourself. I’d rather hate myself than hate others, although not healthy is better than potentially causing hurt, pain or offence to someone else. The moment that happens, my self hate kicks in as the regret of a negative action towards others would cause me to feel anger at myself for doing it. Intentional or unintentional, though especially the latter which is more often the case.

    2. Recognizing undesired traits doesn’t always mean you have said traits, however does not dispute the possibility. For example, a robber, murderer etc or those with extreme negative tendencies are despised out of morality. It would not necessarily mean you also have those tendencies but are undesired because these traits pose significant danger or unwanted effect. You wouldn’t consider someone a psychopath because they dissaprove of that nature.

  2. Sam B says:

    That’s the last time I type long posts on my phone. 😛

  3. janice says:

    comment coincidence or not i need some self love but if its ongoing and not the easiest thing to how does one have a good example to go by if one has never really had one which doesn’t mean you’re a bad person most people dont know know how to communicate positively we know all the negatives or self denial or excuses which is both of our fault so in terms of positive doesn’t a certain amount of two sides to the story come into play as well ,what if ,you dont know and you’re teed off at the other person for not you knowing what they really feel ,remembering anyone can have an overactive imagination and conjure up what is or isn’t really there too.

  4. Sam B says:

    Imagination is the source of manifestation. Having an “overactive” one is more likely to help you as well. If you imagine then essentially “will” it into existence, then that is what is created. Outcomes originate from thought. it’s essentially the same principle.

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