5 Shocking Mistakes that are Killing Your Relationship – by Tana Hoy
Both men and women commit these shocking mistakes that kill relationships. It doesn’t matter whether the relationship is new, or already several years in existence.
It is also of no bearing whether the relationship came about through a prolonged courtship, or it simply happened at the spur of the moment.
Let’s look at these mistakes and find out how to handle them, or better yet, correct them so that your relationship wouldn’t be at risk any longer:
Mistake # 1 - Competing with Your Loved One
This is a very common mistake that surprisingly (shockingly!) happens frequently, but doesn’t get noticed by the two people in a relationship. Neither you, nor your partner, may be aware that you are doing it.
Certain words, a look, even ordinary gestures such as a shrug, are enough to trigger a desire to compete. Competition with your loved one can be ery subtly, and then things suddenly explode.
In a relationship, people start competing with each other when they are feeling deeply insecure, and they want to assert their worth and power.
Competition may come in the form of making sarcastic remarks about the way your partner does things, or frequently trying to “teach” your loved one how to do things “right”. Even humiliating your partner in public (shouting, manhandling, being generally hurtful or rude), which makes your loved one feels so damaged and powerless inside.
Mistake # 2 – Assuming that You Know What Your Loved One is Thinking
Consider this typical exchange between a couple driving. One of them has realized that they are already lost:
Person 1: (WORRIED) We should have asked directions before the last turn-off.
Person 2: (ANNOYED) Don’t worry. I know we’re where we’re going.
Person 1: (VERY WORRIED) We are already lost. We should turn back.
Person 2: (INSULTED AND ANGRY) Oh, yeah?! You want to drive?
Person 1: (TAKEN ABACK) Why are you suddenly being mean to me?
Person 2: (HOSTILE) Because you’re thinking that I’m stupid!
Person 1: (CONFUSED AND RESENTFUL) What? I did no such thing! How dare you accuse me like that?!
Before they know it, World War III is on, and they will have torn each other’s ego to shreds. All because one of assuming to know what the other person was thinking (Because you’re thinking that I’m stupid!) - even if this had no basis in fact.
Mistake # 3 – Involving Other People in Your Disagreements
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. There is no magical moment when you will be swept away by your charming prince, to live happily ever after. Nor is there a magical moment when he will turn from a frog into a glorious hunk after being kissed by his princess.
The earlier you accept this reality, the sooner you will stop committing the shocking mistake of involving other people in your disagreements, an act which could end up killing your relationship.
Who are these “other people?”
They are the people whom your partner loves or values, such as their family, other relatives, or friends.
Have you ever told your loved one during a disagreement something like this – I’m not surprised you’re acting this way. You’re just like your father!”
Or how about something along these lines – You and your friends are all the same. You’re plain selfish and inconsiderate! All of you!
Involving other people in arguments with your loved one can magnify the hurt to high degrees. This is because 1) you are already attacking your partner, and 2) you are also attacking people whom she/he values. Doing this is something which makes your partner feel vulnerable and defenseless.
Mistake # 4 - Shouting
Unless you are situated one mountain away from each other, there is absolutely no reason to shout at your loved one while disagreeing over something.
When you raise your voice, what you are actually doing is trying to control your partner.
This can easily be proven by the way animals in the wild act when they feel threatened, or when there is another animal nearby that they want to attack. They roar, they scream, they make loud hissing noises, all of which serve to intimidate whatever it is they want to control.
Granted that it’s not easy to keep emotions in check during the heat of an argument. However, shouting at your partner can easily douse any romantic flames and turn your loved one even colder than ice towards you.
Mistake # 5 – Clamming Up
Some people clam up in the midst of, or after an argument, simply because they:
- Are already too emotionally weary and have no emotional reserves left to continue “defending” himself/herself?
- Are thinking that the argument is stupid, and the loved one even more so (and thus, doesn’t deserve to be loved, much less even be spoken to)?
- Have reached a saturation point and are already “tuning out”?
- Don’t want to do any further damage, and think that by clamming up, they will preserve the relationship?
- Are trying hard not to cry or otherwise express other strong feelings?
Whatever the reason may be, if you clam up, remember that your partner will feel that you are shutting him/her out of your life. Your loved one may then become agitated, furious, and even angry enough to seek revenge against you.
Have you ever been in situations like the ones mentioned? Is your love life burdened by confrontations that you can’t make sense of? Would you like to know why your relationship is not going as expected, even if you believe you are doing all you can to keep your loved one happy and content?
To find out the reasons behind an unfulfilling relationship, a psychic reading can help you understand what kind of karma or karmic debts you are carrying around in this life. Don’t suffer in silence any longer, because you can find out what your spiritual self needs to do in order to have a good relationship with your loved one.